Trying to Find that Inner Peace

I used to think I was a pretty well-balanced, could handle anything type gal...and then I had twins.  I'm sure it does not effect everyone the same way, but I'm not one that really enjoys chaos.  When our twins were infants it was really tough.  My husband worked really crazy hours, and still does.  Having an older child, although she was 4 at the time just added another level of difficulty.  I started having panic attacks whenever my husband would start to leave for work and while he was gone.  Those completely stink.  I finally went to a doctor last year toward the end of the year and was put on meds for them.  I hate taking a medication, but I hate less not feeling in control of myself...especially with my children.  The anxiety and panic would first of all make me feel like I couldn't breath, but it also made me very short tempered.  I hated feeling always angry around my children, that is not a behavior I want them growing up remembering.

This year I've really strived for inner peace.  I needed to start doing some things for me...little things like start reading again.  I love reading but hadn't made the time for it in years.  I now have read about 12 books since the beginning of the year, ranging from self-improvement type books to just plain-old fun books.  Love, love, love the Hunger Games series! 

I've also strived to exercise regularly - that has helped hugely!  It makes me feel better about myself and, I think mentally just starts my day off on such a brighter note.

I had also joined a MOPS group so I do get to get out meet with other moms and have the twins in the daycare then at the church where the MOPS group meets.  Even though MOPS is not religion based, it does try to balance you personally and spiritually.  The church it is held at is a non-denominational Christian Church.  I have been surprised at how much an effect having that spiritual connection in my life has had on me.  In the last month we have started to attend that Church - the Pastor's wife is a co-leader of our MOPS group so I've heard them both speak at MOPS and have always loved listening to them.  I hadn't realized until recently how much I was lacking on the spiritual side of things!

Today was a rough day.  My husband was at work all day, and the twins didn't nap...it's been a few days now.  I think they are trying to give up that nap.  They stay in their room, but are so cranky from not napping.  Makes for a long day of them having tantrums, and really over-reacting to things that normally would not be a big deal.  Still trying to figure out how to keep well-grounded in the midst of the chaos, but I think I'm definitely on a better path then I was a year ago.